What's in a Name

"A rose by any other name would smell as sweet."

Today I should be 27 weeks pregnant.

Last year, on this same date, I should have been 37 weeks pregnant.

Somewhere in between those two "should have beens", I lost a third pregnancy.

Three pregnancies lost, three nameless babies longed for, loved, and mourned.

Today, October 15, is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. 

Spontaneous pregnancy loss is a surprisingly common. Around 15-20% of clinically recognized pregnancies end in miscarriage, yet there are more pregnancies that fail prior to being clinically recognized. 1 in 5 women will experience miscarriage. 

I am in medical school, I had learned that miscarriages in early pregnancy are common.  I tried to be rational, to find comfort in the commonality of miscarriage, but there is a fine line between normalizing an experience and minimizing it. Even though I understood the scientific side of miscarriage, I wasn't prepared for the mental, spiritual, and emotional toll of miscarriage and recurrent pregnancy loss.  

On this blog you will hear me talk more about my experience with infertility, miscarriage, and recurrent pregnancy loss.  When I speak about my losses it isn't because I want attention or pity.  

I talk about my miscarriages because, when 1 in 5 women experience miscarriage, we should talk about it.
I talk about my miscarriages because we shouldn't live so afraid and ashamed that we avoid the subject altogether.  
I talk about my miscarriages because I want to create a network of support and understanding, where a woman can grieve for her lost child instead of hiding in embarrassment. 

Today, I talk about my miscarriages because they mattered, those three nameless babies that budded but never blossomed.